he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
