I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
In America we eat man semen.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My pussy is not your playground.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize