it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
