Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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