OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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