yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
