Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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