Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
