Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
