A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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