he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
