youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
