Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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