OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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