My liver just broke up with me...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
