I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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