Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
What a dumb baby whore.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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