Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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