I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
