you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
