I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
