Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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