So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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