I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
