I want to have your abortion
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
