Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
