It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
