Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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