My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize