She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
