Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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