About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Someone came in the potted fern
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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