you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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