Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
