i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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