I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
