Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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