Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
