Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize