I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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