Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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