You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
