what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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