member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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