Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
