do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
