Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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