Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
