Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
