New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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