I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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