did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
