After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
