plz talk dirty to me
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
