my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
