I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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