Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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