come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
