glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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