quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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