3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
