worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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