I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
