I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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