The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
