Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
